; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
