Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
