And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
