You work out of a Hotel?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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