god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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