she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
