Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
