I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
