think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
