I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
