census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize