I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
