I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I enjoy the company of your penis
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize