God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
