is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
