Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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