how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
