Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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