You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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