i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I made him laugh his dick is mine
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
