I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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