alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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