you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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