when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
