she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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