Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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