yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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