I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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