Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize