I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He has the fingertips of a God
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
