No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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