what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
you never un-have a 4some
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
