i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize