I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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