Can i not drive my cunt home
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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