I bet he comes in French.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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