My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I am available for nakedness
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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