I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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