Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
