Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize