She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
