How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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