Kareoke will never be a sober sport
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We got so high we made milksteak
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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