i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Randomize