This gyro tastes like lonliness
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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