he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
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hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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