Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
