Fuck appropriateness.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
