Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
