so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Come see our sink grown plant.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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