she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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