I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
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