I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
