I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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