i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
