Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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