i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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