I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
