Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
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