what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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