I wish I could teleport
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
