Cold hands, warm shart.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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