your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
